escaped.

closer to heart

2012-02-01T23:36:00.000+09:00

I find corporate world is an alien concept to my being.

But I'm still breathing till today, so I guess things aren't that bad. Getting to the second month is still considered as a transition, right?

I envy those who can adapt effortlessly. Or at least, don't have to struggle so much.

Believe it or not, I just completed a 70-slide presentation pack and trust me, my final year project is only 20% of that. But the moment I finished it, the overwhelming feeling was unbearable. It's considered as one of my first tasks, the thing that would or wouldn't make a good first impression to my boss' eye, the beginning of what I foresee as my coming routine in this oil and gas business.

It's completely different from what I usually do, the past year. And I love that I'm doing something different - far from what I've experienced at other place before, yet closer to my heart.

This is it.

This reminds me that I NEED to blog about work attire. Apparently cardigans are my best friend now.

Anyway, I might be gone for two weeks cause I have to attend Petronas Induction Programme for new Executives, or known as PIPE starting tomorrow (I said I might cause I'm bringing my dear laptop too) so wish me luck!!

Another round of lectures, LDKs, etc..I thought I left that world already. Pfft.

work desk deco.

2012-01-27T12:44:00.000+09:00

I never really bothered about decorating my work desk previously, with no particular reason. I didn't get the excitement at all. It's like, you have tons of papers and files and books on your desk, beside your computer, in the compartments - there's never really a need to "live it up" because you're still swarmed with all those work assignment things to even focus on "fun".

Yup, I was such a geek back then. Or maybe because I wasn't planning on staying.

But now, I think I'm lucky to have a bigger cubicle with a lot of space and - wait for it - NO LEFTOVER PAPERS/DOCUMENTS AT ALL! Everything is brand new, well except for the desk and chair. But they still look new, so who cares.

I think that's why I'm so motivated to decorate and add some personal touch to my work desk. I've seen my other colleagues' - there are sweaters, nice blankets, picture frames, calendars, etc which gave inspirations to me.

But after a few weeks of working, my latest "deco" is this.

Yup. So sad. I don't need to post my entire cubicle's picture here cause you can just imagine it in your head - a cubicle with a desk, a phone and a laptop on the desk, two compartments, a chair. That's it. My books are all in the drawers, so my desk is empty as a shell.

Been looking for ideas on net, and so far I made a mental list to get (at least) these things :

nice calendar
colorful picture frames, which means I HAVE to get my ass out to print out pictures
nice files, binders and testpads
BOOKS!
3 in 1 coffee/nescafe
a tumbler
possibly a wide LCD TV, if my boss doesn't mind.

But getting ideas from internet is fun. I'm actually considering these :

Little plant holder!

Tokidoki toys

Nice expensive headphones (still considering..)

Colorful clocks

If you need some ideas, go to StyleMyCube.com. Or if you want to be different from the other IKEA crowd. Which I think I might go to, eventually when I'm getting sick of ordering things online.

But above all, this would be the perfect work cubicle for me.

yours truly updated

2012-01-23T18:26:00.000+09:00

I've been postponing it for so long, just because I really don't feel like I was at the time and place to write - of course, I was supposed to write about "myself", and it can't be any easier than that.

Actually, writing about who you are is the hardest part. And now, for the first time at this point of my life, I really feel like it's who I want to be and where I want to be.

With the boyfriend's constant nagging of "when are you going to update it??" - obviously he knew I was in denial - it feels different, changing your status from "an engineering student" to "currently employed". In all honesty, I'm still in denial, but I'm letting you guys know who I really am, just through this blog. See, you guys are special.

I didn't realize just what a sentimental nutcase I just sound. Sheesh.

I'm not going out, because I can't do my scarf.

2012-01-21T14:37:00.000+09:00

Came across this video while I was youtube-ing in the car yesterday, waiting for the guys to come and pick me up for our meeting at Dayabumi.

A girl can multitask anytime, anywhere.

I can relate to this 100%.

The popular ones,

"Naah..it makes me have fat cheeks"

"I'll wear pink cause it goes with my scarf" - ALWAYS!

"Noo I'm not coming out..can't find a scarf to go with my outfit..NO"

"Can't wait to get home and take this thing off my head"

"DON'T TOUCH THE SCARF!"

"I found the best dress the other day..if only it had long sleeves"

"Bad hijab day."

"Not going out..can't do my scarf" - ALL THE FREAKING TIME.

"I had to change cause Bobby didn't like my outfit..he said it's too tight" - YES. DEFINITELY. Which I think, if you have a guy like this, hold on to him with your dear life, girls.

first presentation done!

2012-01-17T23:20:00.000+09:00

I was given my first task; to potray my own understanding on this particular topic, do my own research, come up with my own theory on the fundamentals and present it in front of everyone.

Common chores enough, nothing less than what I had expected. But the catch? Time frame given is the next day, less than 24 hours to complete everything.

Walked like a zombie yesterday when I came home from work, and this morning.

Finished it (YAY) and am going to UTP tomorrow for this project we're working in collaboration with them.

It's weird, but I'm enjoying the load :) Finally feels like I got my own thing, place, space. Even if it feels like I'm complaining..but seriously, I'm not.

And it's even weirder that I'm enjoying the 30-40 minutes drive from work to home. My own favorite alone time, finally! If you see a girl singing like a mad person in her car, please look away. Hehe.

On the other hand, I find living in this house is such a bliss. Partly because family is where your heart is, and partly because of these.

My uncle is a big fan of books, and I was over the moon when I saw the collections! Seriously, when you're given the luxury of a lifetime, get books. More and more books. I always envy people who are constantly in touch with hadith and surahs - they seem to have them on their fingertips, while I'm still struggling to Google them. So having these Quran translation and meaning books in possession feels like a saviour to me. Now, if only I could read it 24/7. Sigh.

And new book for a new beginning - by Ivanka Trump.

I'm still halfway through, but I love this quote in the book the most :

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistance. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistance and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "Press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."-Calvin Coolidge.

The collection is complete.

the thing about stray cats in japan

2012-01-13T17:23:00.000+09:00

Remember this post? You know, when I was webcamming with a kitten like an old crazy hag?

So apparently, that little kitten has grown into this now.

And these are stray cats, mind you. He's not actually keeping them, because they're so scared of human they won't even go near him, but they'll be where the food is. So he took the trouble to buy cat food and put it outside his apartment for them to eat when they think he's not looking.

You will never find stray cats in Malaysia looking like this, and it saddens me somehow. In Japan, they don't really favor cats because to them dogs are more reliable - and somehow, it's just so hard to find cats there, even at the park or garden. Even if you do, the stray cats will run away from you as far as they could - they really don't like human.

But you'll never see sick, thin, starving cats anywhere there. Somehow they're all so well-kept - maybe by some people who didn't intend to keep them but still give free food to them, like him.

And now in Malaysia, you can see people chopping off a cat's leg for stealing some leftovers.

It just doesn't make sense to me, this world and self-proclaimed Islamic country we're living in.

recycle make up, nay.

2012-01-09T17:44:00.000+09:00

Starting off 2012 with the best guy, best companion and the best friend in the world is amazing. He flew back to Japan yesterday and I've been in the most confusing mood ever, thanks to cramps.

I'm still happy from our dates last week, I still have butterflies in my tummy yet I'm so sad to realize we're oceans apart. Again.

But, meh. WE CAN DO THIS!

(frantically looking for the cheapest AirAsia ticket I could find on the net and praying that I can get a few days off for some Japan trip. Please, pray for me.)

Anyhow, last few days had been phenomenal. Started working at the new place, driving on roads and highways I'm not familiar with, staying at a place surrounded with little cousins. Phenomenal.

And we took it to the next level - he took me to meet his whole family. Now, I didn't even ask him how I did because I'm too chicken to know. But I certainly felt the love, Alhamdulillah :)

But before all that, I just have to post this.

Who on earth would do that?!! I can't even go a few hours without wet tissue-ing my face, let alone sleeping the whole night with the makeup on.

Imagine having your eyeliner and mascara lines streaming down your face. Ick.

instant lift-up.

2012-01-03T22:47:00.000+09:00

Went out with him to celebrate new year since he's here..and guess what he got me!

Fujifilm's Instax 210 camera.

He knew what I've been writing to my fairies all along.

I've been eyeing this instax camera ever since I watched this Korean drama - You're Beautiful, where towards the end the female lead used an Instax mini camera - a slightly smaller version of this 210 version. The pictures are smaller, but the mini camera is just too cute I had a hard time to choose.

So settled for bigger pictures instead, even if I have to carry a big bulky camera around. Worth it!

Another thing in the list to be crossed off :)

And we celebrated new year with big steaks and salmons. SERIOUSLY YUM.

I'm definitely not a fan of lambs (can't even smell the cooking) but this one right here is so delicious I had to try. Salmons are always my favorite (provided that they're cooked, not raw) so there's no complaint there.

We even had to ditch Chilies cause we were too full after the big lunch. Sheeshh am craving for steaks now..

how he met my mother

2011-12-31T13:09:00.000+09:00

So after a few (5, actually) years, he finally gave in to meet my Mum. But I'm glad we waited, anyway, cause I know Mum doesn't like publicising things that aren't certain yet, and since we're both ready it just seems appropriate.

HE MET MY MUM FOR THE FIRST TIME!

Mum is completely fond of him. She got all nervous before meeting him (really, Mum..) and as soon as they met, Shahrul was nervous too I could tell. It was quite funny. He was aware of how much closer I am to Mum, and I kept telling him to talk to her HAHA.

After lunch at home, we went out together cause lil brother decided he wants to get on a LRT. Mum was getting comfortable by then, him making a few jokes I don't get, made my Mum laughed, entertaining the ever annoying lil brother, met sister's fiance, and had dinner together.

Bonding session with the lil bro haha.

But most of all, the fact that my Mum actually hugged him and cried when he was about to leave really touched me. I don't recall seeing Mum like that with anyone else, so I knew how much Mum adores him. The next day when I sent her off at the station, she didn't even shed a tear!! Pfft.

But then I knew, he won my heart when he won my Mum's.

packing, again.

2011-12-25T12:57:00.001+09:00

So today is my last day in Penang. Will be going to KL tomorrow and spend the rest of my life there.

I hope this tight feeling in my chest will be over soon. I hate leaving :(

Anyway, the guy I left in Japan after graduated actually came home for new year!! WELCOME HOME :) albeit the verryyy shorttt holiday, he decided to come home after all. God bless him. And since we live in different state, we might have our paths crossed if we get real lucky. Pfft.

And I stumbled across my old pictures in Picasa's web album, after signing up for Google+ a few days ago. (I think I like Google+ better than Facebook.)

This was 2008. I hate growing up.

P/s : Ooh if you're celebrating, merry christmas!!

a thousand years too soon.

2011-12-23T00:19:00.000+09:00

I don't know why but this song seems to be in ALL engagement/wedding videos that I've seen on Facebook/Youtube.

And that fact annoys me because I WANT THIS SONG TO BE PLAYED ON MY WEDDING TOO.

I don't freaking care. I want it. (and this has nothing to do with the fact that it's played on twilight, btw)

Future husband please take note.

a plumber's story.

2011-12-19T22:43:00.001+09:00

A plumber my Mum called came today to fix the pipe in the bathroom. I recalled seeing him a few times over my childhood years; but I don't remember any conversations I've made with him.

But this one is worth remembering.

While he was doing his thing, we chatted for a bit. He's old enough to be my uncle, so I called him Pakcik.

He asked about my study and work. When I told him I took chemical engineering, he got excited.

"I took engineering too. Aeronautical engineering. You know, airplanes and stuff."

I almost choked.

He said, learning all about the mechanical stuffs is great - he's always wanted to make things. But after he graduated, he realized that he wants to make things happen for people and his family - not working his ass off for some company who won't even give him some time with his family.

So later he started studying all about house stuffs - how the electrical works, how the fan on the ceiling is connected, how the phone cords are working, etc. He studied them all, up to the point that he opened up all the parts in washing machine, and assembling them back together, because in engineering we've learned the knowledge, but not the skills. He said, "I want to do stuff that's beneficial for my own family, do my own work, get my own money rather than working for other people."

I don't know how he did all that, but somehow I wish I had his guts.

He kept telling me that getting into Petronas is a good chance to give back to our country, because Petronas is a Malaysian, and that I should never take it for granted. "Like the youngsters nowadays." He told me to work and do something that I know for certain will contribute to my life and my family's, because then I'd be contributing to my country.

"I got an offer to work in Dubai, but it means leaving my family so I rejected. Why earn big but live an unhappy life? I'm happy now, I watch my kids grow, I do things around my house myself - I do what I've always wanted to do."

Mum knows him for quite a long time, and said she really cannot put into words of what this Pakcik actually does for a living - "because he can do pretty much anything." I guess his dream really came true, seeing just how happy he is now.

I wish I had his guts.

Elena's screw bracelet.

2011-12-15T15:17:00.001+09:00

Since I'm stuck at home, I've been having a few series' marathon including the Korean drama, the famous zombie series The Walking Dead (thanks to Star Movies for the marathon weekend), and also The Vampire Diaries.

Like what my sister said, gotta make full use of the holiday now before reality kicks in again. (She knows me too well.)

So after a few episodes of TVD's Season 2, I noticed this leather screw bracelet Elena Gilbert always wear. Before anything else, I looked for CC Skye first cause, you know, where else could you get a screw bracelet?

And it's the same exact one she wore!

I've seen my friends wearing these gorgeous CC Skye bracelets or something similar, but I've always thought these types of double wrap screw bracelet isn't my thing - I simply didn't see myself comfortable wearing it. CC Skye has some of the most gorgeous bracelets but they're just a bit too edgy for me. But then again, I've never tried one. And it's a good thing for my purse that we don't find CC Skye easily here (or if you KNOW any store stocking them, DO SHARE! Though you'd risk getting abusive emails from my boyfriend after that hehe. Sorry.) and online shopping is just not the same here like when I was in Japan. At least not for now.

Double wrap screw bracelet in navy

Double wrap screw bracelet in gunmetal

Some other CC Skye bracelets that I'm dying to own :

And 2012's new year resolution is coming. Great.

celebratory lunch.

2011-12-14T16:19:00.000+09:00

So after everything was confirmed, the girls took me out to celebrate at this super nice place in Penang.

SO. NICE. The beach view was amazing - it felt like we were in California, or something. The hot weather ruined everything though.

But it was great just hanging out with them, like the old days. I've known these girls since high school - we'd always plan to go back to Penang during weekends, pack our things, take the bus to the ERL station from our school, take the ERL train from Cyberjaya all the way to KL Sentral, and from KL Sentral to Pudu. We'd conquer the bus with our chit-chats and annoy other people but we didn't seem to care - that's just how we were.

So it meant a great deal for me when they took trouble to surprise me with the outing plan; cupcakes by the awesome beach.

Haha aren't they cute?!

The best thing about it is, each of them represents the phases I've had in my life - school batch, Japan's flag (the red ones - apparently the flag picture was a complete fail HAHA.), WD logo, Petronas logo. They missed out Kobe's picture though!

But it was the perfect outing for me. Leaving Penang means leaving the good friends I have here, so I've been having mixed feelings - not to mention leaving my family and live on my own.

God, this is SO NOT FUNNY. But deep down I knew this is what I always wanted.

If I could, I'd drag all of them to KL with me. But that would be too sad.
Sheesh adulthood, I hate you.

saying goodbye to manufacturing

2011-12-12T22:50:00.003+09:00

So it's official.

I've started my career in engineering field since I graduated in March, and up until now, manufacturing line is always the one thing I rather familiar with. Been at two different workplaces in a pace of less than a year, I realized there are so many things that a degree can't teach you; only experience. Go do something, and you'd find yourself thinking "why on earth everything I've learned from the past 4 years in uni doesn't even link with this job?"

Of course, one with less than a year experience still counts as a fresh graduate, so I can't say much. If you're in the manufacturing line, you'd either love it or hate it. For me, I still feel like in between - it's tough for a chemistry background like me, yet the challenges are what keeps me excited everyday.

So when this offer came, I had to think hard. But settling in oil and gas business is once in a lifetime chance, so I can't give it up.

Everything started when I applied for all top oil and gas companies in Malaysia, only to be kept waiting for several months without any response - until in August I was called for a Technical Assessment Interview for this position, and a few months after that I was called for their Structural Interview (SI) in KLCC. It was a hard time for me, because I'm still working and I have very very few annual leave left and I have to travel KL-Penang, go to the interview and to work on the very next day. Exhausted, yes; but at that point I figured well at least it's one of the great experiences I've had in my life.

So there. It's been like, a week or two since I've left my previous company and will be starting a new phase next month - to tell you the truth, I have no idea what to expect. Preparations are beyond crucial; I know I have to do everything differently now. It's like, going back at this point I've been before, only the direction is different.

InsyaAllah, everything will be smooth. It's already been the best year, 2011 - graduated, and working. Please pray for my next year to be equally as, if not better :)

i need a second season of this particular korean drama.

2011-12-10T17:11:00.000+09:00

So basically, this is the first time an entry post title practically sums up everything I wanted to convey in this post.

Yes, I've been happily tucked away in my blanket everyday watching this.

Mary Stayed Out All Night (or also known as Marry Me, Mary)

The story revolves around this young, cheerful girl who is used to dealing with her father's debt problems. She met a playboy, free-spirited indie singer who's in a rock band and fate has it, the girl has to marry another guy because of her father's debts. In order to convince her father not to marry her off to some guy, she told her father that she's married and asked the indie singer to "pretend" to be her husband.

I must tell you, I'm really not one of the girls who watch Korean dramas and listen to Kpop all the time, and the one thing that made me watch this drama is because I stumbled upon one of the OST on Youtube, and decided to give it a try.

Little did I know, the most gorgeous man on earth actually plays the main role.

The female lead was played by Moon Geun Young, whom I recognized in My Little Bride. She's actually my age, which I think is pretty cool - she looks like 16!

For me, this drama is a lot similar to Full House - it has all the typical Korean romantic scenes; karaoke sessions, bicycle rides, playing in the snow, kiss on the forehead - and then while reading about the drama, I found out that the creator was the same creator who made Full House! No wonder lahhh pschttt.

You know, at least compared to other Korean dramas, this doesn't have the stereotype ordinary-girl-with-super-perfect-guy lead roles. The male lead is potrayed as a playboy, yes, but at least he's not this perfect guy who has everything - while the female lead is always, always the weak ordinary girl. I love that like Full House, the female lead is potrayed to be yes, ordinary - but also shines in some way to capture the whole story. And less screaming, too - Mum doesn't seem to be bothered with this drama cause she said it doesn't have "screaming scene" so much like other Japanese and Korean dramas hahaha!

Which I guess, is true. On some level.

Been listening to the OST all week now. You're Beautiful (another drama starring Jang Geun Suk, who also played as the lead singer in a band) has the best OST songs, though.

But still, I think this drama beats Full House anytime. In my heart, at least.

7 ways to catch up on work.

2011-12-02T16:48:00.002+09:00

My little brother finished his SPM a few days ago, much to the start of his freedom and an absolute annoyance to me. I mean, dude, I'm done with SPM agess ago, chill. Pfft.

But watching him busting his ass off those few days before his last paper really gave me a warm trip down the memory lane. I was him precisely 7 years ago, and I can still remember what I did on those crucial times of my life. Yes, I was this perfectionist nerd who thinks getting all A1's in your certificate is all that makes my life worth it.

I'm glad I did.

But relating to that, I find it frustrating that I no longer have that kind of strong drive anymore. Take work, for example - I was required to learn all the new things given that I'm starting at a new place, but I slowly feel like I'm a student who takes forever just to learn how this one tiny machine works. I used to love learning new things; but now at 24, it just doesn't feel normal anymore. I get tired. I get frustrated. I get confused about priorities; ones that aren't even that hard to prioritise.

But to let this get down is downright worst - so I figured that all you have to do is take a deep breath, and get your ass to work on things you could've done to start. Google helped me on that!

Accept that you are not the same anymore. Yes, at 17 you might have the strongest will to success among your peers, but time and place changed that. You lost it over the years, but it doesn't mean you lost it completely - I realize I'm still the girl who wants to be on top of everything; just that the priorities have changed. I have a boss to impress, colleagues to be friendly with, subordinates to communicate to. Learning is in all of them.
Slot an hour. Regardless of how busy you are, try to find that one (or two) hour just to concentrate on work you feel you need help with - and do just that without interference. Find that extra hour between meetings/lectures, before lunch break, after lunch break, or at night between two of your favorite shows and just get that one piece of work done. Even if it's not done in that one hour, at least it made a huge difference rather than doing nothing.
Work on a list of things seriously. I was somehow never really keep up with lists I've done, but those that I do really helped. It sounds simple, but try to list down everything (yes, even something as petty as replying emails) as detail as possible, and try to look a month ahead so you won't miss out on things.
Talk to your tutors. Especially if you have one that you truly trust, use him. Tutors are someone to help us with the workloads, and they're even paid to do so. I had a tutor back when I was in the first year at uni, and I met him like..twice a year. Seriously. The one thing I regret the most about my uni life. He could've helped me tonnes with the homework, given that I didn't really have Japanese at my fingertips, but I was too shy to ask him. (he was really, really, really good-looking - the type of Japanese guy you saw on TV.) Lesson learned. But if you find it hard to talk to him, ask your department to get another tutor that's suitable for you - there must be a lot of students wanting to help.
Get a study buddy. As I started working, I was assigned a buddy to help me with the study stuffs - and I'm glad I did! Getting a buddy whom you can get along with to do work can be really beneficial. If you're a student, you can organize study sessions regularly at school library, give each other tests and mock exams for preparation, or just hang out together to get that stress out of your system. You can also see if you're lagging behind on work among all of them, and this could be a kick start to a healthy competition. In high school, we did exactly that, and I still remember on the day we went to get our SPM result, a friend in my study group came up to me and thanked me for helping her with her Add Maths. She said Add Maths was the one subject she was weak in, and that she won't get a good grade in Add Maths if it weren't for me. It was the sweetest thing she's ever said to me, and I'm glad at least I left school knowing I've made a difference in someone's life.
Tackle one thing at a time. When you have that lists, try to get one thing done thoroughly than going at a bit of everything at once. It rarely works, trust me, been there, done that -__-
Use all the technology you've got. If you have alarms on your gadgets, use them to alert you about important things you need to get done - yes, alarm. I used to type things and save them on my phone screen so that whenever I see the screen I'd be reminded of them. I was that lazy, I know. But it really helped - I took a nap between my study time and when I woke up, I knew where I left off!

I've seen other senior engineers work - and I can't imagine how I'd be when my time comes. So I realize that preparation is crucial; you don't want work to be a complete burden after 10 years!

too bleary-eyed to write.

2011-11-27T22:52:00.000+09:00

So, in summary, this is how I spent my weekend.

Went to bestfriend's big brother's wedding - who happened to be my sister's former classmate.

And a day out with the girls (with details coming soon) at the prettiest place in the whole ~~world~~ Penang :

It's SQ-something..I can't remember :/ But I SWEAR the view is fantastic. As you can see.

We honestly felt like we were by the Miami beach, or something.

So there. I never knew driving can take up so much of you; that after a while I just feel like chucking that new car and just go along with Mum's curfew. I mean, after a whole day of outing with good friends, going home with sore knees is never a good ending, is it? Or maybe since 90% of the population just couldn't be bothered with this whole driving routine, I should just suck it up too?

I don't get why people just can't settle with riding a bicycle. Or a bike. Seriously.

of facials & dermatologist.

2011-11-22T19:04:00.000+09:00

So after a few chit-chat sessions with Dermatologist Mum and a few aunts, I decided to pay dermatologist a visit regarding my skin.

Mirrors aren't my bestfriends anymore, my brother is constantly commenting on his dear sister "flaw-not-so-less" (his word!) face, and plus everyone in the office is genuinely concerned - so I thought, this condition can't get any worse.

Someone suggested to go for Dermalogica products, and apparently Aster Spring did stock them and use them for facials, so I paid them a visit.

Fortunately I didn't have to drive too far to go the place, so I dragged Mum with me to keep me company. Poor her - I wanted to treat her for a facial too, but after seeing the price, she refused. "No, I don't want to do a facial that cost me as though I'm undergoing an operation." Truthfully, her skin is much better than mine - MUCH better than any teenager, I daresay - so I thought it won't give her any difference pun.

The staffs there are nice, thank God. Some say that they're pretty pushy - but for the new clients, I think they're still keeping the paws down, until the second appointment. Trust me. I chose the new client package worth RM348 which consists of 2 facials, a cleanser, a toner and a moisturiser. Get to choose from 3 kinds of facials - couldn't remember the name but the one I chose (and recommended by them) is aroma soothing facial; because apparently my skin is too dehydrated.

Then before the session starts, you get to discuss with them about your skin condition. They have this document on your skin - all about the details; your regular breakouts, skin condition, eating habit, sleeping habit. I got scolded for only taking 4 glasses of water a day and too much caffeine due to tea and coffee. I got scolded for "working too hard" - hello, Miss, tell that to my boss, thank you. Sniffs.

So yes, as you grow older, you lifestyle affects your skin a lot. I guess I just didn't realized that my skin is changing with the hormonal change when started working, and I no longer can go on with "bad" routine like I used to. What a big huge slap in the face.

I took a peek of my folder, and I saw they drew this in regard of my face :

I'M NOT KIDDING. They drew all those dots that represent the zits on my cheeks and forehead..*cries*

Thank God the facial was good. But it was my first time doing extraction - where they would squeeze your skin to get rid of whiteheads and blackheads - and it AIN'T PRETTY. It hurts a lot, it leaves your skin all red unnecessarily (seriously, you've already got all those zits scar on your face before you came, you don't need another set of weird red spots) and sometimes the red spots would cause you pain.

I screamed bloody murder.

My skin took a few days to heal, so the red spots were visible that some of the colleagues said I look like I had "something done" to my face haha. And I told them I got some injections, some even bought it!

But it was a good choice to go, some of the things I've learned :

If you consumed caffeine everyday, be sure to top up with clear water too. 1 cup of coffee = 3 glasses of clear water.
Dinner before 8 is the best for your skin. Can't find the connection there, though.
Try to work less than 9 hours. Which is impossible for me, because I'm required to work 9.33 hours a day.
Always, always put on sunblock - the best way to take care of your skin.
Cucumbers are best to smoothen the scars.
Never, ever squeeze your pimples. (a habit of mine, sigh)
Poop at least once a day. My routine is always once every 2-3 days, so she said it's bad because you need to get rid of those toxic in your body.
Be prepared if you're about to experience weather change - otherwise you'd end up like me. Sobs.

Went home with these which cost me my hard work for the last few months.

So far, I'm loving the products - I can see my improving in terms of hydration, the zits are getting smaller, though the scars are still there. So you might won't see me as much in the future haha.

Right after the facial. You can't see the zits on my cheek thanks to the Averine foundation they smacked my face with, but trust me, behind those foundation you won't recognize me.

Being a girl is SO HARD.

my new favorite app.

2011-11-19T14:38:00.000+09:00

Yes, the crazy app lady is back.

Prior to previous post where I ranted about traffic jams, and so on..well, I did rant about it at the office as well.

And one of my colleagues was kind enough to share with me an app that according to him, "solve the stress issue" - Waze. (well, I secretly think he just wanted me to shut up)

Basically, this app works based on social-networking - users sign up and update their location to form a map on the location, update on where they are/how the traffic is, get others to update theirs, etc. It works as a GPS too; though I still can't get the GPS thing fully function yet I don't know why.

BUT I LOVE IT!! Totally helps. If you want to save time skipping the red sign roads (which means heavy traffic) you can opt for other alternatives and saves your time.

Watch the video if you want to get a clearer picture :

And the best thing is, it is TOO. CUTE.

Available for iPhone, Android, Blackberry and Nokia.

Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't been blogging so much - so many things are happening right now, I still can't wrap my head around it. But definitely no complaints - all's good :) Will update more details later.

Have a good weekend!

when you take public transport.

2011-11-12T19:43:00.001+09:00

You should have a few things to do to keep yourself from hating the journey.

Especially when you're lucky enough to reside in a state where not only the traffic jam is the worst, but also the drivers' attitude - you won't find anyone drives quite like Penang drivers. Really.

So I've been taking this shuttle bus to work because 1) I hate to be stuck in traffic and not being able to do anything except keeping my leg in position to brake 2) I'd rather listen to my iPod and sleep than watching the ugly situation on the road 3) Penang bridge, ladies and gentlemen, is a nightmare to get through.

Been driving back and forth from home to Sunway and take the shuttle bus service called Bridge Express Shuttle Transit (BEST) which is provided by Penang state government (and Rapid Penang) for those who are commuting - with the ultimate goal; to reduce traffic on the bridge. BEST FREAKING IDEA EVER.

And it's FREEE! Finally, I feel like someone somewhere heard my inner voice.

I really really really don't like driving in Penang. KL drivers are much ethical, to be frank.

So anyway. The traffic in Penang is really a piece of work - you can't predict what would happen. There were times that I was in the shuttle on the way back for two FREAKING hours when the journey should've taken like 30-40 minutes, tops. So I figured if I want to stay in this lifestyle, I'd rather at least be happy and enjoy the ride.

1) Never ever forget the earphone. I honestly cannot picture what I'd do if I left it at home - but one thing for sure, it ain't gonna be pretty.

That's my shoes bag. Yes, we have to bring special shoes to work.

2) Bring a magazine. If there's one time to read one, this is it. Except if you have motion sickness, which won't allow you to do number 3, too.

3) Bring a book, if you're not a magazine type of person.

4) Make friends with nice people who are commuting on the same ride as you - and I repeat, nice people. You'd be surprised how good you'll feel when you can communicate with others on the long journey; especially when you have to take the ride with them everyday. I take the shuttle along with an AMD engineer, some Intel engineers, kakak kerani at Plexus and even managers!

5) Sight-seeing eligible apartments for future home. Penang really has some of the best apartments; I might consider settling down in Penang if the price hasn't spike up so much. I said I MIGHT.

One of the pricy-est condo in Penang - inspired by KLCC. Even got a bridge in between!

6) Simply sight-seeing and find the beauty in it. I think the trip really gives me a new way to rewind - after spending so much energy at work, you'd appreciate that little time you could find just to relax and listen to your favorite songs and watch the clear blue sky.

In my case, this is my happy pill.

Makes me wish I could fly.

I might have to drive sometime - but I'd prefer this anytime.

another vain post.

2011-11-05T00:08:00.000+09:00

You know why I've been hiding under my blanket these past few days?

Because of this.

The weird, hideous spots on my forehead.

Can someone please tell me WHAT THE HECK are these spots? I thought they were some zits about to pop up, but after a few days I realized they're not. They're these bumpy gigantic red thingy that makes my forehead looks like it's been bumped into something - only it's not.

And I'm reaching this annoyed point that I just can't be bothered about it anymore. And having to look at it in the mirror every freaking day really isn't helping.

If you have any idea on how to kill these bitches (excuse my language) please, be my guest.

Until then, see you after I'm out of this blanket hiding from the world.

cat-printed shoes.

2011-10-30T01:03:00.001+09:00

(Source : Victoria Beckham's Twitter)

Saw this on her page, and I've just learned how lust feels like. This one is probably the one pair Lady Gaga would end up wearing in one of her shows that I actually love, so that speaks a lot.

And currently my feet are lusting over this.

victoria by victoria beckham.

2011-10-27T14:02:00.000+09:00

I've been meaning to write about this, but the reason of the delay is simple : I still can't get over just how adorable they are.

You know, like kittens. You just want to hold them and pinch them and stare at them and look at their details FOR A LONG, LONG WHILE.

Except that this is not a kitten. It's a dress.

This is Victoria's new line, called Victoria by Victoria Beckham. (You know, like Marc by Marc Jacobs) She's quoted as saying that this is the new affordable line targeted for women of all sizes, with low prices starting at £375 ($593) to £995 ($1,575). Well, that's called Beckham-ish low.

Inspired by indie comic Emily the Strange, the range was entirely comprised of loose shifts, all falling to just above the knee - a departure from her figure-hugging zip-back dresses.

I won't lie. I love all the designs.

If I were given a choice, I wouldn't even know how to begin to choose. All are so chic without being overly cutesy! I was surprised because if I saw these in stores, I definitely won't believe it's her design; well, compared to all the dresses in her previous line, which are always hip-hugging cut.

I don't really like her handbag line, I like her previous line but this one does it. Reminded me of Alice + Olivia, somehow.

But my favorite would be this.

(source : here)

Victoria really wears her own dresses like no one can. And it always amazes me how she can wear the clothes and look even better than those sky-high models when she's really petite!

Petite's #FTW.

turban with a slight twist.

2011-10-25T16:25:00.000+09:00

(source : here. It's Yuna's personal style blog, btw.)

Tongue In Chic's brilliant post on turban here.

Truthfully, I don't really favor the look. I mean, for myself. Partly because I've never really tried it, and partly also because I KNOW turban meant for certain face shapes - not everyone can really pull off the look.

Vanity aside, I love watching other people wear it. It's chic, no-fuss (Yuna won't agree with me on this - I've been thinking for dayss how she turned her gorgeous colorful scarves into stylish turban) and certainly unique, especially here in Malaysia.

You know, if I were in Japan I won't hesitate going out wearing any kind of head gears. (Provided that they're aurah-approved worthy, of course) But things are different here, might be because I'm turning into a workaholic who couldn't care less about how fancy I look, as long as I get the job done. Yes, guilty as charged. I saw one group of girls going out, each wearing different style of scarf and I was like, woah they're so brave..I've never worn that many layers of scarves in my entire life!

But then, internet is cruel. Thanks to FashionValet, I fell in love with Azura Azwa and gave in to temptations.

Turban headband : AzuraAzwa

Scarf : Arzu (Another brilliant brand! Will blog about it later)

Don't worry, I've yet to experiment with proper scarf-ing of the turban headband. Been sporting it (without the scarf) around the house, everyone loves it! If I could sew the scarf on the headband myself, I would.

camera love list.

2011-10-23T22:50:00.000+09:00

This is just another post on my recent obsession with Dianna Agron, so be warned.

I decided to spend my Sunday watching movies, so my first pick was one of the movies I could find in the portable hard disk he gave me. Scrolled down; Con Air, The Matrix, The Transporter..hmm might not what I want to spend my Sunday with.

Then..I Am Number 4. Alien-related movie. Alex Pettyfer. Might won't be so bad.

And the after like 30 minutes..Dianna Agron came out! And I'm already smiling ear to ear :))

I won't bore you with the synopsis here, so go to here for details. (truthfully, I'm just lazy.) Because what I reallyy want to nag about is the camera and pictures featured in the movie.

Sarah (Dianna Agron) is supposedly a high school student who loves photography. Everything else is pretty much a blah; high school students, superpower, bad alien guys, whatever.

So my only focus was the cameras she used throughout the movie.

I've always loved lomo pictures - for me, old vintage film camera is the best. As much as I WANT to own a SLR, I'd dream of possessing at least one camera of these types just so I won't be disappointed in the future. And Dianna Agron pretty much did a good job on convincing me how a decent girl sporting a vintage film camera can look so chic.

I even googled about the cameras she used - turns out some people are also interested in the same thing!

From here.

Among all the cameras featured, I really love the one she gave to the male lead - Canonet 28 series 35mm Rangefinder. The sample photos taken were barely shown in the movie so I googled - the pictures are awesome.

(source : here)

I NEED to know where I can find this ASAP.

skincare habits.

2011-10-19T23:03:00.000+09:00

I'm seriously hating my skin right now. Acne, dark spots, sunburn all at the same time - NOT FUNNY. AT ALL.

Looking at the Japan photos really kills me. I miss the weather, the skin. Oh boy you have no idea how much I miss autumn and winter, even. Turns your dull-looking skin into perfection, despite the freezing cheeks.

I really, really wanna go back :(

But anyway back to the ground again. I decided to switch to Clinique's 3-step that's been dubbed as the best skincare out there, and so far I can say that my skin is in its "healing" period. It's only been a month since I started using it I don't expect miracles to happen sometime soon - but a bit of light would be enough.

I really love the soap and toner the most; but would advise on skipping the third step - the yellow moisturizer one. My sister already told me to skip that one but yes, the stubborn yours truly just couldn't comply with a simple advise. Pfft. Would opted for whitening moisturizer once the current one finish off.

Back in Japan, I used to bring sunblocks everywhere I go. Japan's summer is really hot compared to Malaysia because you tend to sweat a lot, and sunburn - tak payah cakap la. I used to spend a few minutes before class started just to rub sunblock all over my hands.

But the habit stopped once I came back to Malaysia, and I really wonder why. Malaysia is hot as well, but I didn't develop the habit partly because I hardly pay attention to sunblocks in stores. Now that Guardians, Watson etc are all going out of their way to spur all different kinds of sunblocks on the shelves, I decided to bring back the habit here.

As described on the website :

Experience the cutting edge of suncare with the added UVA/UVB protection of avobenzone!

Features:
Protects against UVA1, UVA2 and UVB rays
Anti-oxidants A, C & E combat free radicals
Prevents premature aging
Designed to use year-round

So far, I'm loving the texture it leaves when rubbed on skin. I don't like oily textures so this one is perfect.

And this is the one who would greet me at the doorstep every day when I reach home from work. Without whom my day won't be perfect. She just turns one year old last month!

So, what do you use for skincare? If you have any tips on Clinique/other skincare brands, do share!

sorry, i can't shake your hands, sir.

2011-10-12T00:10:00.000+09:00

So today is my first day at the new company.

As usual, new place, new tradition, new environment. Honestly, I really didn't know what to expect when I first stepped into the huge lobby (the toilets, however, still cannot beat my previous company's - because they don't have WASHLETS! Yes, the one thing I love the most about my previous company is that. The glorious washlet.) but when I saw other new faces who were with me, I was glad!

At least I wasn't alone. Though it'd be reallyy cool if some friends were in the same company with me. *cries*

We had mini orientation, briefings, plant tour. It was hugeee! Compared to the last one, the plant has doors that could go on forever - the first thing I noticed was that. They have too many doors. Also in-plant clinic, clean surau (yay!), clean pathway. As for the toilet, I think I can't be fair because the last company has the coolest toilet in this country, I can actually swear with it.

When I first met the department members; the engineers, senior engineers and senior technicians, I was taken aback. Almost all of them, even Malays, actually reached out to shake hands with me.

I was stunned. And without even knowing it, my hands were already raised and my mouth already went "SORRY!". And a self-conscious laugh.

At some point, I was really embarrassed. I felt guilty for doing that, but at the corner of my mind - they should've known RIGHT?

Truthfully, I have a problem with people hygiene. I feel weird shaking hands with strangers because of that (and also because of the non-mahram issue) especially guys, because let's face it, girls actually take care of their hands better than guys. You can tell his/her hygiene by looking at their nails. That's why guys with long nails is a major turn-off for me.

But, putting the hygiene thing aside, there's also this thing called modesty and being professional. I've never had this problem before..so after today, I thought about this incident a lot. I can never get used to shaking hands with guys, but I was thinking, if he was much older than me (someone old enough to be my father/grandfather) then it should alright, as a sign of respect. Right?

I also asked my friends on Twitter about the issue - and as usual, they never disappoint. They gave me really good info like, Dr Harun Din says that if you have to save face in front of people then it's alright. Also, I came across this really useful article at Suhaib Webb's website - and something that he wrote really gave light :

"Firstly, shaking hands between males and females who are not mahrams is only permissible when there is no desire or fear of fitnah. But if there is fear of fitnah, desire, or enjoyment, then handshaking is no doubt haram (unlawful). In contrast, if either of these two conditions (that there is no desire or fear of fitnah) is lacking between a male and any of his female mahrams, such as his aunt or foster sister or the like, then handshaking will be haram (although it is originally permissible).

Secondly, handshaking between males and females who are not mahrams should be restricted to necessary situations such as between relatives or those whose relationships are established by marriage. It is preferable not to expand the field of permissibility in order to block the means to evil and to be far away from doubt and to take the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) as a model when there is no proof that he shook hands with a non-mahram woman. Also, it is preferable for the pious Muslim, male or female, not to stretch out his/her hand to shake the hand of anyone of the opposite sex who is not mahram. But if he/she is put in a situation that someone stretches out his/her hand to shake hands with him/her, then he/she can do that. "

(source : here)

So there. You can actually shake hands with the non-mahram, under certain circumstances.

I'm still processing this, can't believe it's quite hard to do..I'm not a pro at preaching about religious, really, it's just that it's so hard to change when you've trained yourself about things you can/cannot do, at this age. Especially when it comes to sensitive issue like this.

A friend suggested to bring gloves to work, or use the hijab to cover hands when shaking hands with non-mahram. I shall bring my MJ inspired sequinned gloves to work tomorrow.

quinn's short hair.

2011-10-10T18:12:00.000+09:00

Watched latest season of Glee, and I never thought I'd say this - but I just fell in love with Quinn's hair.

(source : Google images, Dianna Agron's Tumblr)

I wasn't a fan of Quinn's before, partly because I didn't like her hair. It was weird for me because I've always been a fan of longgg hair compared to shorter hairdos; but in her case, her long hair was a turn-off for me. I've had long hair for as long as I can remember, until a week ago when I decided to cut my hair short (Mum's nagging might have something to do with it)

So when I caught Glee's latest episode with Quinn's hair short, I immediately became her fan. Mum would kill me if I get those pink streaks on my hair, so I can just rest in peace with shoulder-length cut :)

P/S : I didn't finished Glee's Season 2, which is why I've just noticed her short hair in recent episode. Not a true Gleek at heart, I must say.

my bestfriend is engaged :)

2011-10-10T01:31:00.000+09:00

And she looked as gorgeous as ever.

And she made me want to flip over bridal's magazines like right now.

And she made me feel so old. Haha.

Nevertheless, I am so happy for her I can't say :)

I'm just so used to think of her and her (ehem) fiance as 'the couple' that when they got engaged, it almost felt like nothing's changed. THAT'S HOW STRONG THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS. I mean, 8 years! Me and Shahrul have been together for like, 5 years plus and even we sometimes need some space. Haha.

I hate the fact that they chose a cool date to tie the knot - 9/10/11. Pfft.

It's so cute because her mum actually ordered a cake with their picture on it - it looks so real! We had a hard time eating their faces afterwards though. Hehe.

Her dad actually keeps these chickens (I don't know what's the breed is - not in any engineering syllabus, unfortunately) and they have this wideee garden surrounding the house. We ALMOST went down to the sawah padi to take pictures because the view is so breathtakingly beautiful.

Super duper happy for this girl. Look how happy she is!

(Pictures credit to Azie and Fatunk's camera as well as mine)

Now, I know what you're going to ask because I've been hearing it all day. No, my turn isn't up yet. But I'll make sure you guys know it first if it is :)

To Syarina Shahar, congratulations!!! Hope this marks a beautiful beginning for you :) I can't wait till the big day! And love you, forever and ever.

last day at work.

2011-10-08T23:28:00.000+09:00

I've been laying low about this before, but now that the day had come - I spent last Friday as the last day at my (now previous) company as I've gotten a better offer at this other place.

It was a historic day for me, because I had no idea how quitting from a company means. What I should do, who to see, what's appropriate/not appropriate to say - yes, I'm very anal like that. I wanted to make sure I didn't leave any mess behind; and thank God my boss was so cool!

My department held a farewell party for just the 6 of us at Pizza Hut nearby, during lunch - and it made things harder. It was harder to say goodbye when you know you have a good set of people working together, especially for us the fresh graduates; getting a good start is crucial. AND I've only been there, like, 5 months.

They were so thoughtful, nevertheless. They even asked me to give a speech, but I WAS TOO EMBARRASSED to say anything haha. Oh well.

Yes, I HAVE to wear sport shoes to work. SO glamorous.

Yazid, who will probably miss me the most HAHA. Bring our department to the top!

With Basha, who has been with me for as long as I can remember - we were in English class together in UM for 2 years, went to the same uni (Hiroshima) for the last 4 years, and same company for the last 5 months. I mean, no one can beat that. Haha.

For all I know, work is different without these people. Last Friday was emotional for me - thank God they didn't see me wailing my eyes out.

And I KNOW what you're going to say. Yes, I reallyy couldn't be bothered about how boring I am when it comes to work clothes - I mean, you have to wear something that could work well with sport shoes! DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IS THAT?? I have to turn my wardrobe upside down just to come up with that old baggy jeans, for heaven's sake. Couldn't even care less if rhinestones-embedded jeans are so out-of-date now.

Even during weekends when I'm out, this is practically the most decent outfit I can come up with just for the sake of it.

I've really got to pull myself together. PRONTO.

Anyway. Remember this post? Well, good news - I've finally revived the iPhone!

I really forgot just how talented Malaysians are when it comes to hacking gadgets haha. You'd never, ever find any phone jailbreaking/unlocking store in Japan. All my Japanese friends were astonished when they knew I didn't pay a single cent for all the songs in my iPod, because they downloaded everything from iTunes store!

Oh the things we can learn from each other. Hehe.

Hello, Instagram. Bye bye, HTC.

lenka : two.

2011-10-01T20:14:00.000+09:00

After two years, Lenka FINALLY came out with a new album :) If you remember, I am a huge fan of her (referral : this) to the point that her songs became my pick-me-up tunes during almost every final exam I had back in Japan. Gotten this CD a few weeks ago and thanks to the long abandoned CD player at home, been replaying this over and over everyday.

Listening to favorite songs on a CD player, in my own room, made a lot of difference, let me tell you. Compared to the open-iTunes-and-play method; I'd prefer this one anytime. Almost like the great great grandpa who loved listening to jazz records.

office bag transition.

2011-09-24T23:48:00.000+09:00

You know when people say as you grow older, your bag becomes bigger and full with stuffs you didn't imagine you'd need when you were younger.

HOW COME IT'S NOT IN MY CASE?!

Once, back in Japan, my bag used to be filled with make-ups, all sorts of keys, even perfume! (refer this post, if you remember) And you know what my bag looks like now?

Yes, I'm back to my Tokidoki phase :) And as you can see, currently my bag is filled with my purse, a compact powder, tissues, lip balm, keys and my apartment pass.

And that's it. When I used to carry all sorts of makeup with me back then.

I AM SUCH A GRANDMA NOWADAYS.

But to think of it, really, I don't need so many stuffs with me nowadays except the essentials; what more with the hectic schedule running around the office and home every single day. So glad I still keep my old Tokidoki bag; cause it's really convenient to carry my stuffs to office when I don't have to take a big heavy handbag.

The Tokidoki print is also becoming more popular among the colleagues now; I find it interesting that most of them didn't know about the brand. In Japan, LeSportsac is so popular especially among the older women that 70% of them actually owned at least ONE LeSportsac travel bag.

Now if only I had more small bags..

my weekend was awesome.

2011-09-19T21:24:00.000+09:00

Because I have these awesome people with me.

(I'm too sweet about my friends, aren't I? Hehe. They should really belanja me for this)

After a longg tiring (but fun) day at Mid Valley.

Yes, the favorite spot I mentioned before was Mid Valley. Why? Because 1) Used to go there with Jannah & Jua during weekdays and weekends to watch late night movies and just going from store to store 2) The one place Shahrul would dare to take me out on the first date because it's close to our college 3) Used to be our weekly catch-up date place.

Yes, we went to Fat Spoon! YAY! There weren't anybody around so we kinda had the whole place to ourselves; so it was awesome. One great advice - go to your favorite restaurant/cafe early in the morning during off days, and you'll have the most peaceful morning of your life.

The cupcakes were meant for Farah since it was her birthday; and we were too skint to buy her a full cake HAHA.

The gorgeous birthday girl.

Also went to Hana's open house. I want to own a house like hers, one day. With my money.

On another note, things have been going well for me, Alhamdulillah. I think when people say nothing is impossible, 90% of them who actually aren't doubting it have experienced some sort of miracles before. Cause I used to be in that 10% crowd, and now everything's changing.

Oh God, since when did I turned into this lame sappy girllll it's so not funny.

I actually took leave today, due to some reason I can't disclose here. After everything settles, I just realized today is the nicest Monday I've had since..forever. Took me a while to just sit around and enjoy the comfort of home.

i know i should sleep, but

2011-09-16T00:52:00.000+09:00

Sometimes kan, I'd really really like to have just an extra one hour in a day.

Like right now. It's almost midnight and I've just done my prayer, eat, pat cat for a while, entertain little brother, reply a few emails and now getting ready for bed after one whole day of work and getting stuck in the jam.

BUT I REALLY REALLY NEED TO WRITE. Oh gosh how I miss blogging, as a young carefree person.

There's so many things going on; the busiest week I've ever had, with surprising events took turn at every corner - I feel like I need a breather and pause for a while and of course, blab about every single thing here. But I can't. I've learned that time is key; and privacy is something that people can sue you for later on.

So. Good news is, I'm going for the weekend getaway with my two bestfriends in the whole world and we're going to this place that used to be my favorite spot; in fact it still is! Say hi if you saw me, it's not like I'm going to give you money but I just think that it'd be nice.

Aquí vengo!

random webcam session.

2011-09-07T23:38:00.000+09:00

Japan has the cutest(and cleanest) stray cats in the world, I swear.

my instant mood-lifter.

2011-09-06T22:46:00.000+09:00

Is this website.

Because for me, being happy is about being contented with what you have.

Because for me, being happy is about being grateful.

Because for me, no matter how bad your day is, being thankful for that, too, is a way to get your mood lighter. And for your emotions to be healthy.

Because for me, God teaches us to be grateful in whatever situation we are in; so that we'll always remember Him. Albeit in the most terrible state of mind.

Because sometimes all you need is this.

The best part is, it can also serve as your sarcasm dose for the day. I laughed so hard I feel like writing a thank you note for the author, just for making this blog happen!

I should write thank you notes and stamp them on my wall more often.

How about you?

money talk.

2011-09-03T15:04:00.000+09:00

Having been spending time at home, I realize how much I value every single second of it now. My career kicked off about 3 months ago; the months I've dreaded so much for draining my energy and taking away the sweet time I used to have as a student (albeit taking engineering, pfft) so these past raya week was probably the happiest I've ever been.

And now that it's coming to an end, I realize I can't let my old habits kick again. The same old blues. The same old depressing thoughts.

And the most important thing, to start learning how to save my pay salary for a better use.

If there's one thing I feel proud of myself for the last few months is; I hardly shop anymore, like I used to. No, let's rephrase. I hardly shop aimlessly anymore. Can you believe that in my current wardrobe, all the tops I have are all the ones I brought back from Japan? Yes, not a single new top since last March.

*patting back mercilessly*

Not a single new dress. The only new stuffs are just scarves (that's a GIVEN) and kaftans (for friends' kenduri).

So to say I'm proud of my recent spending is an understatement.

Of course, I'm dying to go over to Zara and MNG and scramble their racks. But I think having been overly busy with work is actually a good thing - I don't have the time to shop (never thought I'd say this). Of course, I'd love to finally click the 'buy' button on the many gorgeous tops and dress on Net-a-porter's website; but somehow there's this sense inside my head that gives me a second thought.

I don't know who's this person I'm turning into. But I'm glad.

Spending a few bucks on new tops doesn't hurt, I think. But when you're overly spending on things that you know you'd wear once or twice, or things you'd wear just to please someone, or things you want because you saw the ad in the magazines when you know you'd hate yourself if you wore it; is the real problem. I've been there. And not a single day gone by without me looking at the clothes and think, "I wish I'd bought tops and dresses that I actually love and would wear every single day without getting tired of it."

It's all about that little voice in our heads; the one that we can choose to listen to or not. "Buy things that make you happy, not proud" - is probably the best advice someone gave me so far.

"Many people define themselves by their stuff; the brands they wear; the type of car they drive. Know who you are inside, minus all the labels."

So let's start making the future real.

raya as a 24 year old.

2011-09-02T12:28:00.000+09:00

OK I know it's the fourth day of Raya but still..Eid Mubarak everyone!

My Raya highlights :

Prior to previous post, I've sent our baju kurung (me and my sister's) to Mum's tailor 2 days before raya to alter, and thank goodness she still accept our plead to have a normal Raya with a normal baju kurung. God bless her. So we're happy again YAY.
After solat sunat raya, we went to visit our late grandma's grave as well as Dad's. It feels weird, just because we used to visit only one grave. It keeps reminding me that our life is so short we can never predict what might happens next; or who's turn might be up next. How we should never forget Akhirat and not putting Dunya as our priority, which is our weakest point, for all of us.
Mum was around the whole day! (She's been working during Raya for as long as I can remember, so this is practically her first time taking long leave during Raya. God bless her.)
Apparently the perks of breaking the news of your sister's engagement to relatives - now EVERYONE wants you to do the same. Lol. I mean, give me some air, please.
Shahrul had to work during Raya. Which I think is one of the reasons I didn't go overboard with Raya celebration. Because I know the feeling. Tsk.
Went to Farah's on second day of Raya - which reminds me that it sorts of became our little tradition : Syena came to pick me up and beraya at my house, and we went to Farah's to beraya with her. Farah's has always been the place we would go despite whatever happens; Raya just doesn't feel complete without these two.

Hope you had a splendid Raya like I did :) Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, and please forgive me for all of my wrongdoings - intentionally or not.

post-raya stress.

2011-08-29T18:40:00.000+09:00

You know what's great about raya this year?

My tailor screwed my baju raya - the baju is 5 inches longer (yes I MEASURED, and if you're familiar with the term inches you KNOW how labuh 5 inches is), the lengan part is 3 inches longer, and don't even get me started on the kain. People just have to come up with a new term of 'labuh' as to describe my situation right now.

We didn't get to buy any pelita, like how we used to every single year *cries*

We didn't get to buy extra baju kurung for raya due to damn work and people closing the boutiques early. I mean, what is it with boutiques nowadays?! If I have to come and buy baju kurung at 10 pm, would you really refuse a customer?

OK I might won't even open if it was my store. But seriously.

The fact that my sister has to go to her in-laws on pagi raya, when this year we managed to get everyone together wearing the same baju raya like how we used to. I mean really. I used to say I don't mind not having her on raya when she had to go to her in-laws, but this time it just feels different.

But really, apart from those things, I love everything about Ramadan and raya this year I don't know why. Ramadan feels a lot shorter compared to before but I managed to do everything I've always wanted to do during Ramadan, and for the first time I'm contributing to the household as I've started getting my own income. It feels great; giving something out instead of always being the one getting something.

To tell you the truth, I'm all about it's-not-yours-if-it's-your-family's thing. Ever since I've gotten scholarship for study, asking Mum for money is like a taboo for me. Same goes to getting a car; it doesn't feel right driving Mum's car around and when people ask, "oh, yes, I have a car". It just doesn't feel right wearing Mum's branded bags. That's why when I managed to keep my money to buy albeit one designer bag, it makes me feel contented to know that it comes from my own money, not someone else's.

But this time, being able to chip in for my own household really gives me a whole new meaning of being a grown-up.

And that's why this year's Ramadan is great, for me.

the one thing that made me feel at peace

2011-08-26T17:54:00.001+09:00

...nowadays is probably, going to the grave.

Oh how I miss being there. As weird as it sounds.

I regret for putting it off, day by day, week by week just because I've been so busy with work. I regret for not making it a primary thing in my life like how it used to be. I regret for not making time and making excuses about time. I regret for waiting too long.

God, please forgive me. Please forgive all my sins; for I'm just a weak human being who still needs Your guidance and patience and care. Give me Your hidayah and blessings, for I really need Your help to be in the right path and be the better person I know I want to be. I still need You to guide me, for at times I tend to make this world my priority when I'm supposed to look for Your love above everything else.

And most of all, please don't make me forget where I come from.

Started my Raya holiday yesterday evening after taking off from work at 4.30 pm, which is a first for me. Had to rush off to this interview and as soon it ended, it felt like a huge burden is off my chest.

To top it all off, Mum came to fetch me after work and we had iftar together before going home.

When things get hard, spending time with Mum is all I need to bounce back, I swear.

As childish as it sounds.

of food and bag. (gasp)

2011-08-24T23:42:00.000+09:00

Basically what we've been having since first Ramadan :

Had berbuka at White House Coffee, my friends were going crazy over their dim sum haha! When I don't even know what dim sum is.

During one of our crazy nights (so-called. We usually go to bed at 10 pm nowadays) we went to Queensbay a few kilometres away to have berbuka at Manhattan Fish Market. I seriously, seriously regret not choosing Nando's or even Pizza Hut earlier because the food we had at Manhattan that night was a nightmare.

So..OK..in pictures, it looks like this :

We opted for seafood platter because of the (cheating)picture in the menu, but mann was I wrong when the platter arrived. The prawn was OK, but the mayonnaise was too much for us to consume - we were literally bloated by the time we finished the one-third of the whole platter! Seriously, I have so much respect for the Mat saleh couple who were eating their heart out at the next table.

Don't ever go to Manhattan for berbuka when your stomach isn't prone to overly creamy mayonnaise. Pfft.

Anyway. Last week and up to this week were the craziest weeks I've ever had - been rushing to here and there a lot; I can feel it taking its toll on me now. Going to bed early is the highlight of my day; I swear I feel like a 70-yo grandma. Pssh even my grandma was a LOT energized than me I swear.

Had to go to some interviews, so yes FINALLY I've got some solid reasons to get new bag and heels.

Aldo has the nicest bags, I've never really realized that fact until me and Mum paid a visit to the store last week. Fell head over heels with the bag - Mum prefers the one in black though.

Been resenting the store for not having my size, but this time they made up for it - the perfect heels all for the right size.

May this one brings me all to the right places.

the abandoned guitar.

2011-08-16T23:53:00.000+09:00

I was downloading songs to fill my phone's 16 GB SD card (yes I'm an avid iPod lover, the girl with earphone 24/7) when I realized that, it's been quite 6 months since I last play guitar.

Stopped playing before due to my FYP craziness, then when I cut my finger I couldn't play at all since the cut was right on the finger I used for playing chords - hence making it impossible for me to even get the right sound for chords. Well, it's not like I've always played the right ones anyway - my G chord sounds suspiciously off tune.

But last weekend when I go back home to my old room, the sight of my untouched guitar kinda makes me sad. Back in Japan, playing guitar was always the one thing that could make all the difference. I remember that one day during summer break, I could ride my bike to that instrument shop a few blocks down just to get the guitar eventhough I had no idea how to play. Insisted my sister to teach through webcam, and she sent me this DVD on learning how to play for beginners; though eventually I learned to play through Youtube.

It was pure fun. Screw that I don't have Rihanna's perfect pitch voice, I'd learn to play in bathroom instead.

I think that's when I developed my love for Youtube singers.

I wish I hadn't stopped playing. I wish I had more hours in a day to allocate for playing; nowadays it is just impossible to spend some time watching TV, let alone playing guitar!

But most of all, I wish I hadn't give up.

So my new resolution is, giving that poor abandoned thing at the corner of my room a chance.

Anyway. Have you listened to Rihanna's California King Bed?

I wasn't following their channel or anything, but I stumbled upon this video and found it so impressive. Heck, 99.9% of Youtube talents are way better than the crap sound I used to produce (99.9% because I once found this girl's video of her trying to make sound of her guitar - not a success, unfortunately.) so it's not hard to impress me.

such a weirdo.

2011-08-15T22:32:00.000+09:00

Yesterday when I was about to head back to Penang, I looked for my cat to say goodbye.

And you know where I found him?

Happily snuggled in a blanket of my towels and white linens in my wardrobe.

I swear my cat is so weird.

He's been sick all week, and hasn't been able to eat anything. I kept umpan-ing him with tuna instead of Whiskas, but he still refused to eat.

He rarely fell sick, so I get so worried that I keep him sleeping on my bed every night - the one thing I always got yelled at for doing. But really, I've lost my cats before that I really really don't wanna lose another again.

That's him in my wardrobe -___-

Anyway, I decided it was time for me to treat the whole family for iftar.

I KNOW RIGHT!! This whole thing is reallyy making me feel like a grown up already. Sniffs. Mum actually HAD to remind me that I'm not going to be given duit raya anymore, since it's my turn this year to be the one giving it.

This whole working thing is really, really annoying.

Very simple and cosy restaurant, loving the lights.

Introducing, Weirdo #2.

he is awesome because

2011-08-15T00:36:00.000+09:00

...he bought me books to study.

I mean, really, who else does that?? Haha.

OK fine, I asked for it.

I got a parcel from Japan yesterday, and it threw me to the moon. A few weeks ago I asked Shahrul about SD cards price there, since I refused to buy a new one for my phone (having SD card-oriented phones is still a foreign concept to me) and he told me there's a 800+ yen 16 GB SD card on Amazon Japan.

That's like, RM30.

And when I went to the store here to check out the price, an 8GB SD card would cost RM128 (approximately).

That's a freaking 100 bucks difference!! Freaking unbelievable.

Once, I went to the store to buy my Canon printer's ink, and what would cost me around 20 bucks in Japan, is actually over 120 bucks here. I almost got a heart attack!! Complained to Mum, and she said "well maybe that's where Canon factories come from hence cheaper" pfft doesn't help at all.

So of course, I resorted to asking him to buy me the 16 GB SD card and send to me. Even after shipping cost (around 30 bucks) I can get it cheaper.

As for the books, I've been thinking of taking a Japanese proficiency test for a while, so he sent me the books to study for the exam as recommended by our sensei. Am so touched. Managed to read till fifth page, loving the book already! It's easy to understand and also got English translation.

Study mode ON.

And to top it all off, there's a hard disk containing all my favorite movies and drama - Modern Family, Prison Break, The Hangover, some japanese movies and drama, Con Air, Die Hard, etc - because I've complained about how slow streamyx is here. Must've taken him days to download those 250 GB worth of files..well, at least he saved that streamyx guy from getting an earload of complaints.

To you, thank you for the parcel!! :)) Will send you the condensed milk and Maggi parcel after this okay?

of intervention.

2011-08-07T23:16:00.000+09:00

As of this week, it just hit me that I've been employed for 3 months already.

Time flies fast is the understatement of the century.

I didn't think I'd get through these past months without much breakdowns and complaints. Well, yes, I've had my fair share of those (just ask him) and there are times when I thought, all I wanted in life is go home and lie in bed all day watching TV without having to worry about production yield or defects root cause or simulation or anything.

And that's when reality kicks my ass real hard.

And that's when I'm thinking of studying again.

Studying was probably the most hated thing in my life; and yet the times I've spent doing it was the most fun I've ever had. I've learned that I found Maths very fascinating; I've always loved Add Maths (as geeky as I can possibly sound, I know) that I could spend the entire day blasting off my speaker listening to music while doing questions in Algebra book. I've learned that I loved drawing chemical bonds till I ran out of papers. I've learned that I have a love-hate relationship with CAD; doing it for almost 12 hours non-stop was a torture but secretly when it's complete, I would look at the drawings and smile.

All those times when I reached home and it's already dark and I skipped meals and went to sleep. All those times when I took a nap till Isyak and woke up feeling all grumpy for missing those few hours to do homework. When final terms came and I've finished all papers and went home with that "OMG NO MORE PAPERSS" amazing feeling in my tummy.

I miss being a student. There's no other way to put it.

For now, I think I'm blessed not having to drag myself to work every weekend. For now, I think it's great that I'm surrounded with positive people who'd cheer up my most sucky day without them even knowing it.

For now, passing by the same beach by the highway on the way to office every morning and watching the sun rise are probably the highlights of my day.

But that feeling of having reality kicks again; oh boy.

I really don't like intervention.

screw the new, i want the old.

2011-08-01T23:22:00.001+09:00

Today, I saw this one funny cockroach on the road at my workplace (I KNOW RIGHT, what workplace got cockroaches?! Psshh disgusting) so I was about to take its photo and put it up on my Instagram. You know, so that all the strangers on Instagram can look/not look at your self-proclaimed photo collection.

Then I realized, I can't.

Man that feeling sucks.

It just didn't hit me how much I'd miss using my old phone with all the handy apps that came with it before, but I do now. While Android has finally heard my prayers and gave me Viber, oh how I wish they'd produce another Instagram for Android version.

Talk about not being grateful.

I still miss my old phone :( Bloody Cydia ruined my happiness!! Tsk. If you guys know how to recover iPhone from damaged Cydia apps, tell me TELL MEE.

I miss playing Bejeweled on my bed while waiting for him to call. I miss browsing on its fine interface (Android interface still can't beat iOS', I think), I miss browsing iBags, I miss Tweetdeck, I miss Instagram!

Browsed Android's Market (sort of like App Store) and found this Lightbox app, claiming to be another Instagram-like app for Android.

So far I stay firm with pleading with the Instagram guys to make an Android version, cause Lightbox can never replace Instagram. Funny how an app can put me down so much.

And yes, this is just to say that being emotional over a loss is perfectly okay. Even if it came from snapping a picture of a cockroach.

P/S : Happy Ramadan everyone! May this month brings more berkat and happiness for us all. Am super excited to welcome the holy month in Malaysia after 4 years :) I apologize for any of my wrongdoings; intentionally or not.

lovebug(bag) of the month.

2011-07-30T13:27:00.000+09:00

I have a confession to make.

I have this weird magazine fetish issue that is seriously draining me out, and my purse.

I'm not kidding. It started with just a stack of magazines after 1 month, but now after nearly 4 months returning to Malaysia my room is in serious condition of being overloaded with the stacks, that even my mum is complaining.

Back in Japan, I used to limit just one stack per month, ordered from Amazon. With the boyfriend looking over my shoulder, I didn't dare to spend much on different kinds of magazines per month - why do you need to read the same topics on different magazines?? They're all telling you the same thing, you know - but now, with book shops just around the corner I really can't control it.

It's getting bad that even now, I have some lying around that I haven't even read yet.

PLEASE, BRAIN, WORK YOUR WAY LIKE RIGHT NOW.

And the saddest part is, whenever I see the magazines lying around my room, I get this guilt feeling hanging on my throat. NOT GOOD. Might be because I earn my money now.

So. The point is, have you bought the latest Harper's Bazaar issue?

Back in Japan, they didn't really give out free stuffs when we buy the magazines. I think that was probably why I went crazy here at book stores - Malaysian publishers are generous.

Because I am too excited over this.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen - now we don't have to google for Anya Hindmarch's bags anymore. Harper's Bazaar gave me this AH's The Little Book so that, you know, you can learn all of the bags' name and memorize them and go to AH stores or drop the hints to your boyfriend.

And yes, I think the fact that I'm obsessed over bag's names is well established, thank you.

The Little Book is actually for AH's latest A/W collection - starring Edie Campbell. Oh my goodness, what a perfect choice.

Most of all, I love her Twiggy-like eye makeup and pout - heck, I think I love her because of Twiggy.

In this book, there's also a list of AH shops around the world. There are even some in Japan, which I think IS A COMPLETE LIE.

I still remember walking around Shinjuku with my phone in hand, frenziedly trying to google map "Anya Hindmarch store" like a lost tourist. Japanese magazines should really start giving out free stuffs about stores list soon.

As of now, my love of the month list would be this.

I hardly ever buy bags in velvet/purple, but this one is an exception. Reminded me of the classic Coach Carly, too.

dark.

2011-07-28T22:44:00.000+09:00

Last few days, I received this one news that still haunts me to this very day.

I never thought such event would happen to one of my own, to be affected this much, to humbly recognize what is meant by God's qada' and qadar.

Last Monday, my friend who's currently studying in Japan received a call telling her that her boyfriend was found dead in Thailand, after went missing since last Thursday.

I couldn't really digest the news at first, especially after reading her tweets every day since he went missing, when she was frantically searching for him.

I can't disclose the details as some of you might read on news and internet to protect their privacy, but it's sufficient to say the loss is unbearable. Especially to his family, and his girlfriend.

To her, I pray that God will give her the greatest strength one would ever acquire - she's already one very strong woman, I know. Putting myself in her shoes, just the thought of it making my throat dry with shaky and tears, I can't really imagine what she's going through.

What upsets me more is, so many speculations are being made about this case. There are forums popping up here and there; each telling their own 'prediction' about the story - I can't even begin just how mad I am reading them.

So I plead here, for whoever reading this, please stop doing all those speculations. Arwah's girlfriend is already suffering with the loss, the family has already gone through so much with the media circulating them for story - it doesn't help that there are forums saying unnecessary accusations about the case.

To this day, I still feel dark with sadness even though I barely knew her boyfriend. Just reading her last message to arwah made me broke into tears; she is the strongest person I knew for sure. I pray that he will rest in peace in Allah's berkat, may God receive his good deeds and justice will prevail.

To you, dear friend, I pray for all the happiness in the world. You deserve that. May God bless you, always.

because I can never get over him.

2011-07-24T22:37:00.000+09:00

crash and burn. and new.

2011-07-21T23:38:00.000+09:00

I'm a big whiner. I know that fact was well established through this blog.

BUT THIS TIME I NEED TO RANT. I EARNED IT.

My iPhone crashed on me last weekend.

The phone, my sweet little phone, decided to die on me and never come to life again.

Downloaded this stupid app on Cydia (I SHOULD'VE listen to that voice in my head) and whoosh after that, it kept crashing and won't even turn on for more than 30 seconds. Tried restoring it, but to no avail - iTunes kept giving me the error code of "software being at risk of not repairable" something like that - and just like that, I cannot use the phone anymore.

Stupid, stupid bloody Cydia apps.

So I've lost all photos, songs, even contacts on that phone. I bought a new phone (not an iPhone, obviously - cannot put myself all those memories thing anymore) but I know nothing can beat my 3-year old iPhone 3G even how slow, annoying that phone is.

Gosh I miss my phone :(

Am a HTC user now, and you know what I hate the most about gadgets? Learning how to use one. It's been yearssss since I last bought a new phone, and I'm just so used to iPhone interface that using a new different type of phone is just a foreign concept to me! Took me daysss just to figure out how move the apps around, etc.

And you know what upset me the most?

I can no longer use Viber.

I wish the Android guys would just get off their asses and make the Viber for Android happen already.

And don't even get me started on Instagram.

Last picture posted on Instagram. Will be missing you, dear friend.

LV eden silk scarves.

2011-07-13T23:13:00.000+09:00

After a long longgg day (whoever thinks engineers goyang kaki every day seriously needs to get his/her brain scrutinized.) I came home to this.

Louis Vuitton Eden silk scarf. (source) Internet is cruel.

260 pound = 33,000 yen.

If only LV doesn't cost me my arm and leg. Combined.

you give me premature ventricular contractions.

2011-07-12T22:56:00.002+09:00

Watched No Strings Attached recently, and LOVED it.

Been waiting for it to come out, and after what seems like forever waiting for the ever annoying Streamyx connection to finally completed the download, I spent the weekend drooling over..Natalie Portman.

I think I have a girl crush on her.

Watched Black Swan, and this part was a totally opposite of who she potrayed in Black Swan. If you're looking for a light chick-flick, this is it. Don't expect too much though, a lot of negative reviews regarding the plot were made but for me, it's just right for a chilling out movie.

I like everything about it, mostly because for once, I can see how the female lead is potrayed as the one who "breaks hearts". It's usually the guy who'd play the womanizer (though I can understand why, apparently nice guys are almost gone from this world. Not my statement.) so I was attached to this movie from the beginning.

It almost hit the spot when Emma (Natalie Portman) says she can't commit, for the reason of "being protective" and "two people aren't meant to be together".

Truth be told, I was familiar with the concept. Fear of losing? Yes. Fear of getting hopes up and ultimately vulnerable to the other person? Yes. Would rather be alone than having your heart broken? Yes. Being perfectly okay alone and not having any serious relationship? Yes.

And you just know when that right person came and all the walls came down. Yes, it feels exactly like that. So if you feel familiar with all of the above, get a weekend night off alone, get some chips and popcorn and Coke, change into your pajama, turn up the volume and this movie could be your down-memory-lane-trip movie.

Because for me, it was exactly that I could cry.

P/S : the lines are to die for, too. The most hilarious, I swear.
PP/S : Ashton Kutcher is bare-butted in this movie. Cover your eyes. Or not.

vintage to a whole new level.

2011-07-07T23:45:00.000+09:00

If there's one thing I don't mind splurging on, it'd be unique vintage things.

Be it bags, bracelets, rings, pencil box, anything that comes with history or even a bit of old scratch would get me. I can't remember since when, but I have a feeling the constant mentions of the word 'vintage' in Victoria Beckham's That Extra Half An Inch might have something to do with it. -__-

Excuse me, I was 19. Or maybe 20.

My friend donned her vintage bag the last time I saw her, and I couldn't take my eyes off it.

It's a Ferragamo bag, which she got from her grandmother - the bag was previously owned by her, so you can guess how many years it's been.

Granted, it's a Ferragamo so you know it can last forever because well, it's a Ferragamo (I should get some sort of Ferragamo Membership Loyalty Promotion Voucher psshh) but it's the whole story behind it that gets me.

The bag, we can easily buy at stores. But the bag that was previously taken care of, used and loved by our ancestors, and being passed down to us, well..that's a whole different thing.

And maybe it's just a tiny bit coincidence that I'm currently in love with Ferragamo.

ok, so i just realized..

2011-07-05T00:23:00.000+09:00

...I haven't changed my yours truly part yet.

When I should've 3 months ago.

I'M NO LONGER A STUDENT!!

Oh God this is so..

Give me some time to do a new description. This is like, leaving the old life that I've known forever, and emerging into a new one.

Japan how I've missed you.

yana's wedding.

2011-07-04T23:59:00.000+09:00

So do you know what occupied me for the last two very stressful weeks?

Attended daily operation meeting. (albeit reluctantlyy. Well, still I attended.) Attended department meeting(s). Looked for microscopes, which is probably the highlight of my week because IT'S BEEN SERIOUSLY SO LONGG SINCE I'VE USED ONE! Hello old friend :') Actually used a microscope with my own hands without supervision whatsoever (and other tools, too. Forgot what they're called, but man science stuffs are heavy.) Asked for things to do around the office, this was before I got busy because my boss just gave me this research project to do.

Whiny much? Hehe.

So when I realize Yana, my batchmate's wedding was during weekends, I was more than happy to go through 3-hour journey of Penang-KL to go to her wedding.

Definitely wasn't a waste of petrol, I tell you.

The canopy that comes with chandeliers. I LOVE.

It was good, seeing old friends. Can't believe we're a bunch of working/married girls already. *wipes tears*

Sarah Munir, who ditched her AzuraAzwa headband when I needed them the most. Pfft.

Fatunk, the partner in crime from Penang.

Syaz!

The decor was beautiful. It was one of the weddings that reminded me of simplicity in luxury.

Live streaming of sanding.

Wore a Sarawak kebaya (supposedly) with a gold pario. Not really my thing, the parios. Oh well.

Some other pictures from friends' camera :

And a whole lot more, it'd be impossible to include them all in one post.

But it's only sufficient to know, I had fun :) Good company, good food, good breezy night air..God I really need to go get a life.

of things that make me happy.(for now)

2011-06-28T23:26:00.001+09:00

I'm an avid uncang tea lover now. One of the perks for being in Japan too long, I think.

The sahur food for the girls. Calling me up for sahur, apparently, now is a failed mission. And still failing. Sniffs. Hendak seribu daya, tak nak seribu dalih, right? Hehe.

Chocolate muffins and a dairy milk chocolate bar. OVERDOSE.

15 or 24, I still love Dutch Lady chocolate milk.

Anyway. Since this falls under things that make me happy, and as you know I'm a history geek.

Last weekend Mum, little brother and me had the privilege to visit Padang Kota Lama and the area surrounds the historical site. Padang Kota Lama and me aren't strangers (having been living in Penang since..I was born?) but I spent 12 years of my life being away so it's been a while since I last went there.

12 years is like, half my age. Wow. Half my life was spent in KL and Japan.

Mann I feel so old.

This is like a Tugu Peringatan for the soldiers we lost during war. But instead of visiting the place in good faith, a lot of youngsters are polluting the place by lepak-ing aimlessly and littering. It's just sad to see what this land is turning into.

One of the old buildings around the area. Forgot the name. I find the view is so very breathtaking.

This place reminded me of peace and being in your comfort zone once in a while doesn't hurt.

favorite people slash constant annoyance.

2011-06-28T00:20:00.000+09:00

It's amazing how they can be very comel and annoying at the same time.

And how I can be so mellow when it comes to missing the siblings.

So this is how I spend my weekends. Annoying-like-I'm-so-macho brother and a cute, handful baby niece.

I, sometimes, despise weekends just because I hate goodbyes. People should really learn to live across the road while being able to go to work as early as 6 a.m in the morning. Not saying that it's me.

How do you cope with work and spending time with your family?

distance what?

2011-06-21T00:15:00.000+09:00

I just realized I haven't really blogged about LDR ever since I come home. Mannn what a relief, because I know, if this post were a month before there would be lots and lots of whining in here.

But to tell you the truth, it's been a breeze. HAHA (go ahead, smack me). Yeah yeah all jokes aside, really, I never thought I could go through these past months so well.

So ladies and gentlemen, I've found the secret. The LDR secret.

Trust.

I thought I'd go crazy once he started working, and I wasn't. Then I thought I'd go crazy once I started working, but I wasn't. Really, reading back my previous entries about LDR, I expected the worst. (If you've read this, I AM SO SORRY. Happy to report that I'm all sane now. Hehe)

But surprisingly - things have been going on so well. Better, in fact. I no longer whine about him being busy, I cherish the little time we have instead. I no longer sulk and lock myself in my room, I go out and spend time with my family/friends till night comes and he'd Skype me and I spend some time talking to him.

Nothing has really changed, it doesn't feel like he's so far away. It feels..perfectly normal.

Well, except when Viber's connection screwed and Skype isn't working. But then, we have phone lines. And all is good.

I realize that if we really want something to work out, then it will.(with efforts, of course) Regardless of time, distance or space - nothing really matters when you have that will. And trust, too.

But there were times when I happen to browse back our pictures together, something just hit me really hard - that I won't have that opportunity anymore. Going out together, spending time visiting new places, going in and out of trains at midnight, strolling down the city road on weekends.

I remember taking this photo when we were at Hiroshima station, waiting for our midnight bus to Tokyo. We were eating junk food, taking pictures, talking, looking at people passing by the area (it's actually a waiting area but more like a restaurant with no food - tables and chairs complete with cabels for laptops and everything! Yes Japan is a perfectionist.) and he was taking videos of me eating while talking nonsense.

It was one of the perfect nights, for me.

Relationships just don't work that easy. A lot of efforts have to be made, lots of things to be remembered, to take care of. I have so much respect for couples who've gone through so much (cheating partners, etc) and yet still managed to find the happiness they long for. Really, sometimes I just feel like I've been lucky.

Looking at this photo just reminds me of how happy I was. I doubt that I'd ever look this contented in photos to come, but I'm glad to know that at some point in my life, I was perfectly happy.

So whenever you feel like you've been down or life isn't treating you the way you want, look back to those places and times when you felt contented. Because you'll always have that, whether you realize it or not.

bloated. and happy :)

2011-06-19T20:31:00.000+09:00

We went to pasar malam yesterday, and had the party of our lives. That lasted till morning.

Nasi lemak, fish/crab/chicken balls, fried chicken, chicken burger, sate, and the best food of all - takoyaki! Thought I'd never see those delicious things anymore when I left Nihon :(

A friend thought we're having a party. Sighs. Guys will never understand.

Will definitely visit the pasar malam again. My new favorite spot.

the little printed blue paper.

2011-06-13T00:19:00.000+09:00

So I received my first paycheck last month.

Had to blink away a few tears, when I first held the little blue paper.

Then it hit me - what do I want to buy with my first salary? If this was a few years ago, I'd had pay Charles & Keith or Chanel a visit, regardless of the amount in that paper. I remember dreaming about Chanel 2.55 bag whenever I think of my first paycheck until the reality hit me in the face that a fresh graduate engineer's salary isn't that much.

Truthfully, I came to realize shopping really isn't my priority now. Or rather, it's no longer applicable. Or maybe my shopping priorities have changed.

I haven't bought any bags since I left Japan. I KNOW RIGHT?! It's a miracle, I tell you.

Going to shopping malls now is just not the same anymore. I no longer look for nice clothes; I look for books instead. I pay more attention to shoes since I sold most of them before I came back to Malaysia, so there are holes to fill in the shoes cupboard. Nice clothes just not as appealing anymore.

Having to wear uniform to work sucks. There I said it.

Oh how I'd kill to wear this to work.

3.1 Phillip Lim, Net A Porter

Red Valentino, Net A Porter

Please, this simple chic shirt would be enough to make me happy, thank you.

So if your company doesn't require some sort of uniforms for the employee to wear, be bloody grateful.

It's been years too since I visited Net-A-Porter or ASOS or such. Really. I don't like this person I'm turning into, but my purse and Mum are happy so..I guess transitions are good sometimes.

This is what I bought with my first paycheck. (Mannn I can never get over saying that)

Miss Dior Cherie perfume.

And my life is complete.

wedding radar on.

2011-06-12T01:31:00.000+09:00

I honestly do not understand why I haven't blogged about this.

Have you heard of the name Irna la Perle?

Irna la Perle is actually an Indonesian brand (I just knew about it..sighh so close to Malaysia. I shall give my salary to my mum to keep), specializing in making bridal clothes and accessories.

When I saw the head pieces, my jaw dropped. I wish we have something like these in Malaysia.

My current favorite

If you looked over the website, they have gorgeous gowns (mostly bridal gowns, unfortunately) in pastel colors and classy layering style. I know I can't wear those bridal gowns outside, but would it be weird if I wore the head pieces to shopping malls??

*smacks head*

I was definitely one of the girls who wouldn't care so much for head pieces (AzuraAzwa is EXCEPTIONAL, mind you) but these are really really gorgeous I feel like flying over there and buy and come back home and cry.

The necklaces reminded me of AzuraAzwa's

Thank God they have other modern gowns too.

Now I know why they say best kaftans/dresses/gowns are there. Come to think of it, I always see how Malaysian designers tend to use very vibrant colors compared to pastel ones when it comes to kaftans/dresses, hence the difference in both countries albeit sharing the same culture.

Anyway. Been busy taking care of Baby Niece lately (apart from my full-time job), I wish you could see just how big she is now.

She knows how to shake her head whenever she doesn't want something she holds being taken away from her, and when she's angry, and when you are not doing something she wants you to do. I swear she's getting way smarter now.

Lastly, just a little something for you to drool over.

cyber bullies.

2011-06-08T23:23:00.000+09:00

One of the hottest topic these days - the 14 yo girl who claimed to have lost virginity on her blog AND not ashamed of it.

I've read so many comments and tweets about this, but never really bothered to put myself in that position of judging - I guess it's only natural that people tend to get carried away in correcting/judging whenever someone made a mistake. Albeit sengaja, or not.

I've read her blog, and I can really say most of the posts aren't intelligent. Or mature. Well, a 14 yo girl. Some even seem naive to me; I realize just how much different our generations are. Claiming to have had sex to the whole wide world, well I don't know if it's a norm but it's really out of ordinary.

But most of all, after reading the comments on her blog, I really wonder if she deserved to be treated this way. Mind you, she's only 14. Not some 25 yo actress who's going clubbing every night. She's a girl who needs attention and a boyfriend (according to her).

So is it right to trash her on blogs and Twitter etc? Moreover on her blog, where she can read and see the harsh things people say about her?

This sounds familiar. So I googled about cyber-bullying.

Cyber-bullying is "the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others"

As the victim of cyber-bullying for YEARS, let me say this.

It's never okay to read harsh things being said about you, however small you think it is. However stupid you think it is. I'm not sure how she copes with having a fan page being made on FB (well she's only 14! I was..spending time listening to CDs in classes when I was 14, minding my own business) but it seems like she can go on with her life as usual, so I guess the matter isn't as big to her.

True, she made a mistake. True, she needs guidance and love especially from family. True, all of us think we are better than her. But does it give us the right to ajar her about religion? Or maybe, isn't there the nicer way to teach her and correct her?

Islam doesn't preach hostility. There's no need to be so hostile.

As for me, cyber-bullying or cyber-stalking isn't so harmful (when you're proven innocent) if you know how to deal with them. (read about it here.) To me, they're just kids who need attention - who on Earth, really, has the time to go through your Fb photos/Twitter statuses/blog JUST to make fun of you?

When their existence didn't even matter to you. When you've never even talked to some of them. When some of them claimed to be friends and turn their backs once in front of their friends. When you have absolutely nothing to do with them. Really, what does it benefit them talking mean things about someone, when he/she doesn't even care about them?

I reallyy don't get their motives. A way to waste time, maybe.

I can post the names and the comments here, but that would too easy.

Even though I was annoyed by the constant comments being made, so many people advises me to just stay calm and act indifferently. One of the things my friend says, "don't stoop down to their level" - it really gives me a new look into the whole thing, because saying bad things back at them will just 1)make them think you care 2)give them more things to say about you 3)make you one of them. It's sad even more when friendships are ruined because of this, but you know when you gave everything you can to do whatever you can and failed, maybe it's not meant to be.

So if you're a victim of cyber bully, hold your head up high and smile. Gracious way is the way to go.

romantic gestures ftw.

2011-06-06T17:48:00.000+09:00

Last few weeks, we had a surprise arranged for one of our own, Syena.

OK la actually it wasn't from us..it was from her boyfriend.

After we attended Biela's wedding, we headed straight to KL cause Farah had an interview there. We had to spend the night in KL before going back to Penang the next day, so Syena's boyfriend voluntarily sponsored the hotel room for us lot, because he wants Syena to "spend the best quality time with her friends".

HOMAIGODD guys, take example from this guy because this is what boyfriend is for!!

I find this so romantic and genuine. He stayed at his brother's house in Damansara, and left the 5 of us at the hotel for our own girl-time.

So yes, we had the best time ever. *blushed* thank you KN!!

As soon as we arrived, we had to inspect the whole hotel because you know, you cannot stay at a place you don't trust. We asked but the hotel didn't give any private tour for visitors. Pfft.

The lucky girl :)

Yes, we fell in love with the pool very much.

We were lucky because the hotel was close to KLCC so we had our dinner there. It's just in walking distance and we all went jakun with one of the tallest building in Malaysia :

Excuse me, I haven't seen the towers for 4 years ok. I can be jakun for a while.

Back to the hotel, girl-talk, sleep, wake up the next day to check out.

Sometimes I really don't get why some guys just refused to show some intimacy through romantic gestures, because really, you think girls are high maintenance but actually we're not. Romantic gestures don't have to be expensive; I used to get invitations from my boyfriend then to have breakfast together every day, and it was one of the things that I remember till now cause it really warms my heart. (of course after a few years it just doesn't work anymore.)

Just find a way that you know will touch your girlfriend's heart (there are PLENTY trust me), find out about things that will make her happy even just for a while and go for it.

Make her happy, because then she'll make your world perfect.

i love weddings.

2011-06-04T00:49:00.000+09:00

I think I've got sucked up into all these wedding fever ever since my sister got married, and it was the perfect day for all of us. Happy faces, sweet newlyweds gestures, beamed parents, proud siblings..what's there not to love?

The only thing is, Mum keeps asking "when's your turn?' I mean, seriously.

So last weekend we went to one of our schoolmates' wedding, Biela. It was my first time attending my batchmates' kenduri since Japan took over my life for four years, so I was really looking forward to it.

The wedding was fab.

Biela, the bride :)

The beautiful pelamin

With some of the girls

Opted for the purplish pink kaftan, and I'm never wearing pink ever again. At least for a good few months. TOO MUCH PINK. Seriously, I'm so sorry if you got annoyed looking at the photos.

It was great seeing old friends. But you can tell, some of the habits never changed.

Talking on the phone while taking photos -__-

Of course, everytime these occasions came, the multimillion dollar question would pop up. It can be from your mum, aunty(s), aunty's friends and so on. I knew better not to linger the topic for more than two sentences "we saw the bride already, can we go home?" so the topic would be avoided.

It really makes me wonder if 24 is already 'old'. Pfft.

Anyways. To Biela and husband, Congratulations :) May all the happiness in the world be with you guys, insyaAllah.

just a little bit, please.

2011-05-30T23:26:00.000+09:00

I've been a serious monogamy woman of late.

Work is all I could think of last week, until last weekend when my friends and I went to KL for a friend's wedding that suddenly it just it hit me - I need to breathe. A little bit of air, and I'm all re-energize again.

Not.

I am so exhausted I can barely do my own laundry. And it doesn't help that I feel sluggish as ever - why, oh whyy does Malaysian cuisine is all about oil?? My tummy is at its highest peak point, if you can imagine, and my skin is way worst. I've never had so many breakouts like this before, they're scaring me AND my mum.

You know you have to do something about it when your I-ain't-no-care-about-anything brother pointed it out. "Why do you have so many zits on your face?"

I could kill him at that moment, I swear.

Went to Biela's wedding last weekend, and we headed straight to KLCC cause my friend had an interview there. Stayed at a hotel, and it was the best night for all of us. I could kill for that opportunity again.

Will update on that soon. For now, bed is calling my name.

Ooh btw, I have a new bestfriend.

Seriously, we were laughing our asses off to this!! He's just too cute I could melt.

what i did last weekend.

2011-05-24T23:55:00.000+09:00

I watched Johnny Depp. I mean, Pirates of the Caribbean.
Went to Gurney Plaza after so many years with friends.
Saw Padang Kota Lama. After, like, 20 years.
Saw Seoul Garden, made a mental note to go there for once, someday. I swear everyone in the world dah pergi but me.
Went to Penang most famous Nasi Kandar place. (forgot the name)
Went inside Charles & Keith AND refused to buy anything. MANN what an achievement.
Went to Batu Ferringhi and its famous night market!

In front of some hotel by the beach

Some craftwork by a Chinese pakcik, so so nice.

I was glued to this shop for hours.

When I walked past this stall, I swear I did a double take. Or maybe a longgg triple take. The bags are amazing!! I love the color and the funky side of them - something I rarely look for when it comes to bags. But these did it, I almost grab two of them when I noticed the gold chain strap were too cheap-looking material for bags, and the price for each bag is RM60. Wtf. I was looking for my 20 bucks notes in my purse at that time!

I always look forward to these night markets (pasar malam) because the things you can find here are usually very rare. Some even vintage, which spells heaven for me. I love the friendly air, the cheap stuffs (of course), the live-ness of the people. Though some might even turn out scary.

That's why you should drag your guy friends with you to places like this.

The guys - Yazid, Ayie, Basha.

It was a fun night, I don't do this night outings regularly so having been able to experience a trip like this is very refreshing.

Penang isn't so bad after all.

You can look for these night markets around Batu Ferringhi roads, just follow the jalan by the sea :)

of the dream job.

2011-05-19T00:09:00.001+09:00

When it comes to career, I always knew what I want to be.

When I was small, I saw my uncle travelling and going in and out of Malaysia because of 'work'. Me and my sisters, especially would always get souvenirs he bought from his trips to London, US etc - I think that's where and when I develop my love for Harrods. I remember a Disneyland princess key chain I loved so much, and a long giant pencil with British flag on it.

When asked, Mum said my uncle works as an engineer. I knew right there and then, that's what (and who) I want to become.

Amazingly, that dream hasn't changed over the years. In high school, I thought about taking medicine, and later on geology - based on reasons I didn't really understand. I guess that's what SBP does to you; you're always being pushed over the top to become someone in the country, which has both the good and bad side. But luckily for me, having those opportunities really make me realize my true ambition.

I just got my official degree posted by my former labmate a few weeks ago, who was so sweet to send it all the way from Japan!

So that's it. This paper officially concludes the 4 long years I've spent there, it almost seems impossible.

I know I whine about my job (and study, wayy before that..if you've looked over the archives. Sorry for that.) a lot, but deep inside I just feel like I'm so scared of not knowing what to do. Being a fresh graduate engineer with zero experience surrounded with experienced senior engineers and managers doesn't make it any better; I hate not knowing what to do. Of course, asking around is the only thing we can do, but sometimes even the slightest lack of knowledge drives me crazy, I feel like I need to learn more.

And really, reading is one of the things I believe can help. Since my interest is oil and gas industry, (don't even ask how I can become an employee of a technology manufacturing company - I don't even know. Sigh.) I tend to look for more oil and gas industry stuffs. The way to make up for not having the experience is getting the knowledge first, so I googled a lot.

I found this blog by a Malaysian oil and gas engineer, Wata. It's a fun and enjoyable read, besides learning more about the industry, you can really see how these people work. He also advertises oil and gas engineer vacancies, so be nice to him and you might get a chance!

Though I might hate you for getting my dream job. Pfft.

thor and mother's day.

2011-05-15T23:55:00.000+09:00

In the spirit of living in Penang, me and my housemates decided to embrace our little town considering we're most likely to live here for quite a long time. (that is, if we decided to stick to our *ehem* current job. God, please don't let my managers to ever find out about this blog.)

So yes, we're actually lucky to have found an apartment next to a shopping mall (double YAY for meee) regardless of the poor condition of the mall. This place is actually famous for its frequent visitors of kaki lepak and mat rempits.

Atil, hold it. *breathe* I might spend an entire day ranting about this, because it's really sad seeing these teenagers spending the luxurious time of their childhood just sitting and chatting away and phewwit-ing at strangers. I find them very disturbing, seriously - makes me realize just how grateful I am my brother is none like that - and how I pray to God that he'd never turn out like that.

Feel like marching over there and yelling at their faces, 'GO HOME TO YOUR FAMILY LA!!!!' Poor parents.

Anyway. The cinema wasn't that bad, despite the negative first impression we had.

This is my first time watching movie in Malaysia since I got back from Japan, so I went a bit jakun.

Not so bad!

Housemates No 1 and 2, Syikin and Pija.

Please excuse my messy scarf - wasn't bothered to dress up at all.

We watched Thor. It was amazingly not boring at all - the three of us were laughing like nobody's business. I think we just wanted to get that work stress out of our system. Go watch it now, if you're looking for that blend of handsome warriors, humor and light action movie.

Anyway, tomorrow's Teacher's Day. Last few weeks was Mother's Day, which I've completely forgotten to write about!

Things I teach my mum, camwhoring at the nicest ladies room in a mall.

because they are awesome.

2011-05-09T22:51:00.000+09:00

With my job, my weekdays aren't very appealing anymore - nasi bungkus and going to bed early don't make a great combination. So weekends are practically my sole hope to get back my sanity, and last weekend was worth it.

My two best friends in the world came to my rumah sewa last weekend, with the rest of the gang - Nana, KN, and Syena's little brother, Iman. (yes, she cannot go anywhere without her two bodyguards - I have so much respect for her dad! Hehe)

With the combination of Farah and Syena, I knew my day won't be anywhere near still.

People can say anything they want, but these two girls would always be the greatest friend I've had.

I had a tough week (refer previous post. I'm officially depressing when it comes to hard work, I know. AM SO SORRY PEOPLE.) so having these two by my side even just for a while, makes everything a whole lot simpler. I think they just got tired of my "can I just wear contact lens without having my manager sneering at me??" "can't they just loosen up a bit??" "I swear I don't wanna work in kilang anymore" bits.

So, girls. Choose your best girlfriends carefully, cause they're the ones you'd always have (if you're lucky) regardless the times you've been apart. We've been friends since high school until now, and everytime I meet them, it feels like we've never changed.

Nothing. Not even the shopping part.

Syena and her longtime boyfriend. And I mean, LONG TIME. They've been together since forever, and we would tease them about their early years up until now! HAHA.

Sushi King!

Brought them back to my apartment. Scared them off with super-strict guards and creepy neighbors. But the living room and plasma TV made up for it.

And the title says it all.

phew.

2011-05-06T00:22:00.000+09:00

Can I just declare this week as the craziest week I've ever had?

Thanks.

I have a job. Officially started last few days. Got some name tags and uniform and the most unflattering smock/gown to wear with my big hugee goggles. Had to take off my contact lens and get used to wearing spectacles 24/7 instead. Had to say goodbye to heels and hello to the most unflattering footwear, ever. (well, at least for those who are petite like me.)

Get to wear jeans with shirts, for now. Made some new cool friends, from different backgrounds. Have to learn how to conduct the technicians working under you. Have to learn how to make or change new rules. I DIDN'T KNOW ENGINEERS CAN FREAKING CHANGE THE RULES.

I really want to say I love my job, but so far I've just met my colleagues and my boss and the actual work hasn't started yet, so might as well spare the fun part. For now.

Some of the things that excite me lately, watching the view from my apartment.

I wish you could see just how near Queensbay Mall is. LIKE, SO CLOSE. *grins*

My favorite part of the room.